It’s here, it’s here, it’s finally here! The first full-length trailer for Star Trek Beyond is in our possession. Move outta the way, Batman v Superman and Captain America–it’s time to boldly go from now till July 22!

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After dissecting the trailer I have many opinions and theories, and I’m extremely pleased with what we actually know about the movie and the hints Abrams/Lin/Pegg have packed into two minutes and twenty-four seconds. So without further ado, here are my observations. Lots of pics in this post, so bear with me.

Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.22.26 PM“You spent all this time trying to be your father…and now you’re wondering just what it means to be you.” Very promising emphasis here on Jim Kirk’s growing maturity as a man and as a captain. After spending most of my time peeved with nu!Kirk, I’m overjoyed about this.

Also, note the parallel between this scene and The Wrath of Khan. Bones giving Jim counsel over a stiff drink (whether Jim wants it or not) is a universal constant.twokhd0114“It isn’t uncommon, you know. It’s easy to get lost in the vastness of space…” We know this is from a scene with Jim and a high-ranking Federation offical, but what’s on the hologram? A map of the Federation? It reminds me of JARVIS’ brain in Age of Ultron. Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.23.52 PMMy Son My Child The Delight of My Eyes is introduced with an Abramsian lens flare! Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.24.33 PMBones appears to be scanning for life signs. Survivors, or intruders?Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.24.53 PMUhura’s prominence in this trailer is very exciting. Here’s hoping she gets a big role!Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.25.04 PMBehold the Triumvirate! Kirk is finally rocking the Original Shatner Look Circa Season 3, the Delight of My Eyes is in Vulcan civvies, I repeat, Spock in civvies…and please do not question Bones’ accessory choices, because Bones/Bling is canon (please see Star Trek: The Motion Picture for further evidence).Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.25.54 PMAnd now, trouble. The Enterprise is attacked by what looks to be a swarm of tiny alien ships that can breach her hull. Kirk gives the order to abandon ship…Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.26.24 PM…but I think he’ll put her into self-destruct mode before he goes. He’d never leave his lady in the hands of the enemy without doing that first, and that does look like a countdown clock right there by his head. Remember The Search for Spock? “Code zero, zero, zero. Destruct, zero…” Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.27.26 PMThe Enterprise boarded. Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.27.46 PMPoor little Chekov in an escape pod.Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.28.24 PMScotty meets Jaylah. Don’t ask me where she’s from because nobody else knows yet, either. But she appears quite adept at kicking hindquarters.Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.29.51 PMScotty is impressed. (I’m convinced all of Simon Pegg’s characters make this face.)Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.30.01 PM Are those Enterprise crew members? If so, what does the villainous Krall want with them? Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.30.23 PM“Our captain will come for us. Mercy will be the last thing on his mind.”Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.30.54 PM“I am counting on it.” (Heimdall, what big eyes and teeth and nose you have!)Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.31.04 PMOne of my favorite screencaps from the whole trailer, because I’m a terrible person. Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.31.57 PMBeautiful shot of Jaylah. I am fully prepared to like this girl.Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.32.44 PMCan we just appreciate the fact that these two are going to be stranded TOGETHER?! “Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now!” Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.33.30 PMNow why are you readin’ up on the captain?! Again, this looks rather like something out of Stank Stark Tower…but this time it looks like it’s a Starfleet file (observe the delta emblem). How did this guy get his hands on thatScreen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.34.39 PMWhere are these Enterprise crew members being taken? It looks like some kind of rock quarry, and there are obviously some wounded among them. And is that a woman in trousers going up the ramp?!Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.35.09 PMSomething bad is happening if Sulu has to hold Uhura back. Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.35.29 PMI ship Spock/Chapel in TOS, but I do approve of Spock/Uhura in the reboot! So happy to see they’re still very much an item, contrary to Certain Rumors and Internet Killjoys.Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.36.24 PM“Unity is not your strength! It is a weakness!” “I think you’re underestimating humanity.”  (Observe the Shatner Look. Restoring balance to the TOS Force one detail at a time.)  Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.36.51 PMTheory: Jaylah is like Black Canary. She can deafen everybody with her screams.Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.37.40 PMNow Spock and Bones are back with Uhura, they’re armed, and Spock wears a jumpsuit from the USS Franklin–but the way he’s holding his side makes me think he’s hurt. Remember that Instagram photo Zachary Quinto posted with green blood all over his hands? (Yeah, I wasn’t too happy with him about that. Still not funny, Zach.)Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.38.07 PMScreen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.38.24 PMAnd the trailer epilogue: Jaylah plops into the conn like nobody’s business. Jim: “Pardon me.” Translation: “That’s my spot. You’re sitting in my spot.” Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.39.21 PMAnd Spock’s reaction is worth the rest of the trailer combined. Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.39.50 PMScreen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.40.11 PMScreen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.41.23 PM“He likes that seat.”Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 8.40.00 PMAaaaaand, cue trailer credits after an awesome shot of the USS Franklin streaking off into the sky.

It’s perfect. It’s not at all on the goofy side, like the first teaser kinda implied, and there’s so many TOS vibes! As long as everyone is still alive at the end (and honestly I think they will be because killing off Kirk and Spock is getting old) I think this will be great fun. And it’ll be my first experience seeing Star Trek on the big screen, too, so yeah…I’m just a little excited 😉

What did you think of the trailer, fellow Trekkies? Any theories and speculations of your own? What are you looking forward to the most? And if you suspect you’ll need to buy stock in Kleenex for the tribute to Leonard Nimoy they’ve apparently put in the movie, clap your hands.

(*clap-clap*)

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